I haven’t been on Facebook as much as I used to. All the
reading is hard on my eyes. That’s why I’m on Pinterest a lot—it’s just
pictures. I have a Twitter account that I should do more with, but I just don’t
get it. Mostly, I have it because my husband is obsessed with his tweeter.
The hubby has been reading all these Best of Whatever in
2012 lists. That’s got me thinking about how I got here, where I am, and where
I want to go. Hopefully, you, whoever is reading this, if anyone is reading
this, can take something from it.
I’ve talked a lot about how I always liked alternative
fashion, but was afraid to branch out beyond. When I started PTSD protocol, this
was just a grounding technique to keep me focused. After I decided to stop
being afraid, my yard sale got me to the next level.
My husband has a good job, but he doesn’t bring home fat
cash and probably never will until he writes a bestseller. So I made $400 selling
a bunch of crap I didn’t use, didn’t need, and didn’t want. That with a tad bit
of help helped me build the start of a sweet wardrobe. And you can build your
wardrobe too. As you do, you’ll make mistakes. I sure did—there was a point
where I think I owned like 27 strawberry skirts—and that’s okay. I fixed it and
moved on. Like Henry Rollins said, “Half of life is fucking up, the other half
is dealing with it.”
After getting a wardrobe I started posting pics and talking
to people. That’s how I made friends. I mean actual friends on Facebook, not
just some people who click like on my posts. That’s fantastic. We all need
people.
I pushed forward and now I do things I thought I never could, like being allowed to write for the Gothic Lolita Wigs Blog and post videos, helping out with My
Lolita World, and being featured in Dark Parlour magazine. Recently, I’ve begun what I hope is a long collaboration with Mandy Childress
of Captured Memories Photography. And winning the Ditch the Label contest. All of these are
important to me, but especially Ditch the Label—I began PTSD protocol because
of the way my parents treated me, but school offered no escape from the
torment.
Find something, my Fiends, find something purposeful and be
a part of it, be involved. You don’t know what’s going to happen during your
brief time on earth, so you need to be present and engaged.
When my eye specialist told me that all options had been
exhausted and the next step was to begin immunosuppression therapy, it was
pretty devastating. I’m still upset, but I think I’m finally moving past it.
The realization that I probably don’t have much time left where I can still see
has pushed me to think about what I want 2013 to be.
2012 was the building phase, 2013 is the doing. I want to
try to keep up with everything I’m doing now, but I want to travel and meet
some of these amazing people who’ve come into my life while I can still see
them.
You know, everyone tells me that I’m so strong. The thing I
want you to know, my Fiends, is that you are too. Sometimes you don’t know it and
won’t know it until you’re forced to face the adversity that life throws you,
but you are. Don’t let life get you down. Meet it and live it.
Because it's just a ride.
